Tory Lanez Roasts Drake’s Poolside Photoshoot & “Duckface” Habits
While breakfast is said to be the most important meal of the day, Tory Lanez has adapted an alternative lifestyle. As he tells those tuning into his recent “Men’s Health” interview, the secret to his boundless morning energy is simple: weed. His glossy red eyes reveal the truth. With Chixtape 5 around the corner, Tory Lanez took to the corners of the internet to field a few comments on some pure class clown energy. When asked how he manages to stay in shape, Tory refers to a blunt-smoking, McDonalds-toting picture as his “final form.”
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“I eat tons of food but every night I go on stage and do like 60-70 minutes of cardio,” he explains, citing his forays into the 60-thousand-plus crowd as the ultimate in resistance training. “I’m making my way to the top like Hercules in that bitch,” he says. Next up, Tory revisits the time Drake roasted his “Gene Simmons Kiss Ass shoes,” his “Goth Babe Hot Topic Ass shoes.” Tory retorts as any man should – by roasting in retaliation. “Boy, if you don’t get your kissy-lips at the camera,” laughs Tory. “Your ‘my body looks good today I’ma take one in the pool-head-ass! Your lemme post five pictures like this! You my brother so I’ll leave you alone.”
He also correlates the consumption of weed and junk food to his receding hairline. “I was like fuck this, I’m going bald,” says Tory. “Then one day my assistant’s little sister was like ‘I like Tory’s music but ever since he cut his hair he looks like he’s forty or fifty years old.” He chuckles. “I met Tyga, I said ‘Tyga you didn’t have all that hair at that time and now you do. That shit is boomin. Let’s go. Got Tyga’s doctor on the phone, got my edges back.” All it cost him was free features for life. Check out the hilarious Tory Lanez interview below.